smile like you mean it

I'm glad it's raining in Halifax for once. it suits my mood.

today is not going well.

this is the part where I miss my livejournal for the function "friends only" which means you can bitch about whatever/whoever you want and only people you choose will see it.
unfortunately, whatever I write her is for all to see, despite (see Sue, I said despite) the fact that hardly anyone knows it exists. you never know who might come across it.

so let me just say that I have been busting my ass for nothing and I've come home early to drown my sorrows. the rainy walk home made it easy.

I thought as the weeks went by I'd like Halifax more, but I think it's getting worse. or maybe it's just that school is getting worse, I don't know. it seems like a pretty cool town, but it's missing some key happiness factors.

one, I have no idea what's going on here. I was told early on that you have to be "in the know" to get the low down on anything that's going on in this town, and I am most definitely not in the know. I couldn't find a good downtown show to save my life. I got lucky when Amelia Curran came here cause I knew who she was, but she's from Newfoundland. I don't even like going out THAT much, but it would be nice to have the option.

two, I have no friends. this should really be number one, but I'm so sick of sulking about it that it doesn't seem that important anymore. I thought making friends would be easy in a class where you spend all day with the same 25 people, but noooo. everyone seems to have gone ahead and done that without me. no one seems remotely interested in talking to me, let alone seeing me outside of class.
I know I sound like a child- "wahhhh no one likes meeee"- but it's how I feel. I didn't think it would be this hard.

three, SCHOOL SUCKS. all that crap about "at least now I'm focusing on something I like" was an illusion. I like to write. I am doing very very little of that. and we literally get an assignment every class, everyday. I'm not trying to be whiny, most of them don't take long, and it's a short program- they have to fit a lot in. but seriously, I need to eat. and sleep. and I would not go into television journalism if someone held a gun to my head, so why do I need to do that?
well rounded...grades don't matter here...need to know everything to survive..blah blah blah. give me a degree so I can get a job.

I can't think of more than three right now but those are big ones.

I know, I know. I'm complaining. I told you, it's been a bad day.
I'm going to cheer myself up with some hypothetical retail therapy and mindless fashion magazines and return with a more style-oriented post.

till then.

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